The Pain of Letting Go
by Bmmonteith
Summary: Congrats Kagome, you're pregnant! But what will happen to Inuyasha when you are murdered and your killer is just getting started? Will the return of an old flame cause a panic, or will his dying love for Kagome cloud his judgment? Only Inuyasha can restore this balance, only he can fix his family and only Sesshomaru can save his brother.
1. Chapter 1

**The Pain of Letting Go.**

 **Chapter 1:**

 **(I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters mentioned, except Sashomea, she is my own little character.) ENJOY!**

I ran as fast as I could without tripping. I ignored the pain I felt in my shoulder and focused on her. Her breathing was labored and her clothes were soaked a beautiful shade of red. I tried to talk to her, but she was unresponsive. This was all my fault. I thought they could live knowing that each other was still alive, but I was wrong. If I wasn't fast enough, I may lose more than Kagome. I had to reach Kiadea; she was the only one who could help her now.

X*****X

We were walking the forest. Kagome wanted to collect more herbs, I wanted to relax. We wandered further from the village than normal, but, if anything came up, Sango and Miroku could handle it. It was more than unlikely, as the demons chose to stay in the mountains rather than risk attacking human villages. News of our triumph had spread across the lands. Naraku was dead, and his many incarnations had followed him into the netherworlds. Today, years after it happened, the humans have mostly forgotten, but the demons remember, and that is the most important.

I sat on the ground; my back against the very tree Kagome released me from all those years ago. I still have dreams about it, how I was sealed to the tree by the first woman I ever loved; Kikyo. It was nobody's fault though, we were tricked, and in the end, we both died.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind for Kagome's sake. She knows more than anyone how I still feel, how difficult it is. But she knows I love her. I watched her search the grounds for plants. I watched as she gently caressed the leaves, teasing the tiny hairs and feeling the softness between her fingertips. She was gentle; her swollen belly was barely visible through her robes, and I was never more attracted to her. I was also edgy about taking her so far from the village, as she was due any time now. Sango was equally worried, but it was Kagome. Who could stop her? Either I took her out, or she went by herself.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome was excited.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" I couldn't hide the concern in my voice.

"No, it's just that, it kicked."

I took a second to process the thought; the baby? I hopped over to her, my ears perked and listening, of course the baby! She took my hand and I helped her to her knees. She then placed my palm on her belly, and we sat there together. I have a child. I stared into the grass, becoming fully aware of the beautiful brown eyes that watched my every movement. We locked our gazes, my golden eyes staring deeply into hers.

"I hope they get your eyes. I just love the golden yellow."

"Kagome, half this child is you, so no matter how you wish upon the stars, nothing could make it any more perfect." In that statement, I realized just how much I loved her, and how she came into my world to be with me, and I to be with her.

I leaned over and kissed her lightly. I felt her teasing my hair with her fingers, slowly making her way to my ears. Before she could touch them, I reached up and took her hands in mine, releasing her lips and kissing her palms lightly.

"I love you Inuyasha, I always have, and I always will."

X*****X

I ran as fast as I could without bouncing her around too much; restraining from jumping unless necessary, though I couldn't jump high. My shoulder burned with pain, but I had to keep going. The village felt further away than normal, and I was having trouble keeping awake. I started to stumble, but I wasn't giving up _. 'Hold on Kagome. Please, just hold on._ ' Her blood stains had spread, and I could feel the warmth seeping into my own Kimono. I looked at her, I didn't dare touch the arrow that protruded from her chest, and besides, the barrier wouldn't let me.

"Kiadea! Sango! Help her Sango!" My voice strained. I could feel my voice fading.

"Inuyasha! What happened? Is Kagome alright? Are you alright, what happened!" Sango raced from her hut, followed by three children. "No! Everyone go back! And watch your brother!"

"Just please help her." I was incapable of any further explanation, frantic in my movements. "Kagome? Kagome, please answer me Kagome. Kagome!"

"Just bring her in here and lay her down." Kiadea, an older priestess, yelled through the chaos. Her powers of healing were strong and her wisdom was endless; there is no one I would trust more with my wives life.

Rin, my older brother's former traveling companion, started working on Kagome while Kiadea took me by the arm and led me outside. "Inuyasha, I need you to tell me what happened. Do ye understand? I need you to tell me."

I couldn't respond to her question, I hardly heard what she asked me. I paced and panted, running my hands through my hair and gripping the pommel of my sword. My hand brushed my sensitive ear, and I remembered. I remembered what happened. Kagome's pain was entirely my fault.

"Kiadea, the baby's coming, and it's Kagome, I... I don't know if she's breathing."

Visions flashed through my mind, and I couldn't get them out. I had watched Kagome getting shot, over and over again. I watched her shooter grin and smile with obvious delight. The adrenaline pumping through my body has subsided, and I now feel even more pain from my shoulder and the rest of my body. I tried to relax, but I couldn't, the pain was just too much. I had never felt this way before, and I could no longer handle it. My body vibrated from the external pain, while I felt my insides breaking from the memories. I fell to the ground, struggling to sit up. I struggled to breath, but at the same time, I was oddly peaceful inside. If Kagome was going to die, I wanted to too, so I let go. I fell back and laid in a crumpled mess on the ground, slowly bleeding out. I was born half-human. My mother loved me for who I was. I was tortured for being a half-demon; everyone despised and wanted to change me, except for her. I will die a half human and demon, for Kagome loves me just the way I am. I am gruff, straight to the point and plain rude, but she still chose me for me. I will embrace what she taught me about love, friendship and life. But, I must also let it all go. The last thing I saw was Shippo standing over me, followed by Miroku, both shouting incomprehensible things at me. The last thing I heard was the cry of an infant, and Kagome's final breath.

X***X


	2. Chapter 2

**The Pain of Letting Go**

 **Chapter 2**

X***X

I held her in my arms as though it was the last time I was ever going to see her. Ironic now, looking back on those moments. I remember drinking in her beauty, breathing in her sweet smell. I remembered at that moment, what I said to her when we first met. How I had told her I hated the way she smelled, how I thought Kikyo was cuter. Back then, it wouldn't have meant anything to her, but now, I regret those words.

I sat with my back against the tree, and Kagome sat in front of me between my legs, leaning back onto my chest. I wondered if she could feel the pounding in my chest, caused by her very presence.

That's when the details got hazy. I had trouble dreaming up the rest of the scene. Every time my memory brushed my conscious mind, it slipped away as easily as it came, much like the people in my life. They are gone as easily as they come.

I continued to fight, grasping slippery segments of memory, losing most. That is until; I was attacked by a swarm of blame filled thoughts, all of which pointed at me. It was my fault; it is my fault she is dying. _'But why? Why was it my fault?'_

I was trapped in the third person, looking onto the battle field. I was vicious; my demon blood had taken over. Kagome was on the ground, she was not yet injured. I was facing off against someone, and they were talking. I couldn't hear the voice, only mine and Kagome's.

~ "Inuyasha?" Kagome was frightened; my transformation was reversible, but always dangerous.

The cloaked figure was speaking, but I couldn't hear their words.

"What do you mean, I made my choice, and it wasn't you. You have no right to be here now, not near me and Kagome, not on this earth with the living." I was growling and snarling, my voice horribly disfigured.

They spoke and my memory lashed out. He pitched forward, bringing his claws; my claws, down hard onto the empty ground. The attacker had jumped high into the air, landing lightly behind me, and with very little effort, they pierced my body with a petite yet sharp sword. It sliced through my skin like warm butter, burning the whole way through. ~

I felt the pain experienced by my shadow in the fight, my wound flaring up again. That's where it came from. That's how my shoulder shattered. The worst was yet to come. Kagome was not yet injured, but I knew how that story ended and I had to relive it a second time.

~ She grabbed my hair and pulled my face up. I was no longer transformed, I couldn't hold onto my anger long enough. The shadow I watched fight was in pain; I was in pain. That much I remember, and was in danger of blacking out. I couldn't hear what she told me, but I felt it. She kissed me, not so much as to invoke feelings of passion, but more out of feelings of anger and jealousy. I knew Kagome was watching and so did she. I knew what she was feeling. I couldn't stop though, and that's where my pain comes from. I couldn't stop this kiss; I just let it happen in front of Kagome. Even now as I relived the scene, I was powerless to comfort her. I was tossed aside like a doll, and the attacker moved on. My wound grew as I slid against the rocky ground. I stood quickly, but no matter how fast I ran to Kagome, I never made it.

I was thrown back by a pillar of light. Two forces colliding, stronger than anything I knew. Kagome's soft, pure purple light hit the attacker's harsh, vile blue, grinding and grating. Only, she wasn't strong enough to withstand the power. The pain she experienced watching that kiss must have side tracked her and Kagome was devoured by the energy. She screamed. It was the worst sound I had ever heard sending shivers up and down my spine. Tears involuntarily filled my eyes, overflowing onto my mud and blood stained cheeks. I've never felt such pain, such longing and despair all wrapped up in one tight, chilling scream. I've never felt such helplessness, all because the woman I loved, I couldn't save.

I watched as she fell to the ground. The figure laughed, her voice was light and airy. "I promised I would do you in, and I never break a promise. You are part of me, and therefore, the property of my soul."~

I woke with a start. I gripped my chest, just below my wound, as that was where the real pain came from. My heart. I should have just died. My body was wracked with shivers and my hair was damp with sweat. It was dark outside, and my friends were all around me, circling me.

"Inuyasha, we thought you were a goner. You've been passed out for a couple of hours now. You lost a lot of blood."

"Feh." I turned away from their concerned faces. _'So I lived, but did Kagome?''_

I looked up into the faces of my friends. They didn't tell me she was okay, but they didn't say she was gone either. I gasped like a fish, unable to start the sentence, unable to utter a word. My quiet demeanor turned to anger and I frowned. I snarled and fell to the ground, lying on my back. I didn't let my face show the pain emanating from my shoulder making contact with the hard floor.

"Inuyasha," Sango had been crying, I could smell the tears. "We did all we could, but, whatever Kagome was shot with, we were unable to remove the arrow. We don't quite know how she… But…" She sighed, 'I'm so sorry Inuyasha."

I stared into the ceiling, my face blank as I could make it. Ignoring the pains and objections of my body, I forced myself up and fled the hut. I made it to the edge of the field before I hit the ground. My anger was now just a dull throb and I let the tears escaped my eyes. I hit the ground until my fist bled, I will bleed for her.

They left me for a while, they knew me well enough to give me that much. When they finally did come, they were slow and solemn. "Inuyasha, we were able to save two people today. You and one other."

I knew who they meant. I could smell Kagome's distorted scent; our child.

Sango placed it in my arms, and I just stared. She was beautiful. She had Kagome's face and hair, beautiful silky black. But she had my eyes, golden just like Kagome wanted, and white ears. They contrasted against her black hair, but they were perfect. I hugged her close, trying to catch any of Kagome's lingering scent, before I was able to relax and be peaceful.

I felt the blood on my back. My wounds opened up when I left the hut, but I was ignoring it. It was a mistake. The blood started to pour out faster as the wound refused to close. I passed the baby back to Sango. I smiled, trying to show my gratitude to them. But all I managed was a pained look of desperation and intense sadness. My world was breaking around me. I felt hysterical, yet peaceful. She was gone, she is gone. I will never see her smile again, laugh again.

"Thank you Sango, Miroku. Please, take care of Sashomea for me. She is all I have left." I felt the world crash around me and I watched through dead eyes as my friends rushed to help. I watched them try to rock me back into consciousness, but I just wanted to sleep, to find Kagome in my dreams. I wanted to live in my memories as a family. But, once again, I was thrust into the darkness of my heart, and forced to watch my wife die for a third time. But this time, I had Sashomea, my beautiful girl, to comfort me.

X***X


	3. Chapter 3

**The Pain of Letting Go**

 **Chapter 3.**

X***X

' _What once was half, now is whole. She, who once lived on the souls of others, reborn. She, the thief from future to past, punished. I am the rightful owner of this soul, and that now is mine, forever, in time.'_

X***X

"What are we going to do with him Miroku? He sits there with Sashomea. It's like he lost the will to live, but is held back by his child. She is the only thing keeping him going."

"I don't know Sango. I just don't know."

X***X

A couple of hours ago, I was laying on the edge of the field. Sashomea was at my side. She now resembled a toddler, as demon children are known to grow a lot faster than humans in their first year. She will remain in this form until her third birthday, where she will resume natural growth. It is normal for demon children, as most usually have to take care of themselves. I was no exception to this, but I won't let Sashomea grow up like that. No matter what I feel inside, I have to get it together, for her sake.

She ran around, sniffing the air and yipping, just as I had done. The demon inside of her was very strong, causing her to display large amounts of her dog demon traits. She would grow out of it in the years to come, but for now, she may as well be a puppy in human form. Kagome. Never will she see the child she so proudly carried for me grow, or laugh… be free; unlike me.

Sashomea jumped on me, nibbling my ears, and finally, crawling into my lap. She fell right asleep. I rubbed her back softly as I watched her tenderly. She grew so much, and I even missed that.

I watched her ears twitch, her nose wrinkle and crumple as she sniffed the air as she slept. All I could think about was Kagome. I jumped as Sashomea, with lightning speed, flipped herself out of my lap and onto the ground. She was both growling and whining, but with happiness.

I was startled and angered. Startled that she recognized him, and angered that I didn't sense him sooner. I was too busy staring into the river, the very river Kagome and I picnicked by when we first met. I didn't want anything to do with her then. But now, she was my whole world, and I'm just lost.

Sashomea raced towards him and jumped around his feet. She crawled up his leg and onto the soft fur that adorned his kimono. Her own robes made it difficult for her to climb, but she was persistent.

I was in no mood for a confrontation, so I ignored his presence. Even though we put our differences aside years ago, and Sesshomaru learned to live with his dislike of everyone, we still had trouble communicating as brothers.

Sashomea was curled up in Sesshomaru's fur. "This is your child I take it."

"Yeah, her name is Sashomea."

He finally grabbed her by the waist band. She had taken it upon herself to trace the purple royalty marks upon his cheeks, and the crescent moon on his forehead. They stared into each other's eyes. She smiled, and with an ability that no one else seemed to have, she made him smirk back. He held her in his left arm, the very arm that I had severed years ago.

"She has your eyes Inuyasha. Bright, but not yet blood thirsty. She also has your ears. I think they work better on her. She's lucky she looks more like her mom than you, for her sake."

He raised his eyebrow, obviously trying to appeal to my arguing nature. My smile has been strained, but that I could not fake much longer.

"Inuyasha, I can sense your discomfort and anguish."

I rose and stood next to the tree. The sun was falling, and dusk was settling in. Since Sesshomaru arrived, he had been nothing but a dark spot against the sunset. Now, as the sun fell below the horizon, I could see his features. He was still expressionless as ever, but his words suggested he cared. I looked into his eyes, as just as Sashomea recognized, I saw a flash of emotion. Quickly as it was there it was gone, but I saw it. He did care.

"Sesshomaru. Kagome. She…" I fell against the tree, grasping the rough bark as I fell, "She died. I couldn't save her. I tried. It's my fault, I killed her. I just couldn't save her, but oh how I tried. She just, no, it is my fault. We should never have left the village. I knew this would happen, and I should have protected her, like I promised I would. But I couldn't kill HER."

Sashomea whimpered and fell out of Sesshomaru's arms. She stood by my legs and reached up to me. I reached down and scooped her up, and automatically, she reached for my ear, feeling the softness and comparing them to her own. I was swarmed with memories. The simple gesture of Sashomea reminded me of Kagome so much, I couldn't control myself, and I let a single tear fall.

X***X

He turned his back to me, both angry and embarrassed for showing how much he cared. I knew she was gone before I made him say it. I just knew. That is why I am here. His love for her confused me at first, but now I understood. At first, I thought he was using her, but his intentions ran much deeper. He was always harsh to her, his words sharp and malicious. I could sense his love though. I could tell, through his thick exterior mask, that he cared. I watched him a bit longer, my pity swelling. I tried to keep my face blank, but my new found tolerance for him made it difficult. My Tensuiga pulsed, sensing my hearts true desire. I knew what I had to do.

X***X

I let that single tear fall to the dirt, I was falling apart. Why should I care what Sesshomaru thought? I needed her, and I didn't care who knew. I thought by acting tough, I couldn't be hurt again. I was wrong.

I no longer sensed his presence, and had to see where he was going. He had his sword drawn and was heading towards the hut. ' _Is he really going to do this for me?_ ' Sashomea jumped from my arms and followed him, yipping and playing the whole way. She was so much like a puppy. ' _Was I like that too?'_

"Lord Sesshomaru! You came back!"

"Of course Rin. You know I always will."

Sashomea ran to Rin and climbed into her arms. "Why hello Sashomea."

Rin giggled as she licked her cheek and climbed onto her shoulder. She jumped onto Sesshomaru, grabbing his fur as she did and swinging wildly.

He made a barely audible noise in his throat, and she was on the ground in front of him. She stared into the dirt, trying to look away from her feet. Rin was confused. She still had trouble understanding the fact that, although we looked human, we were half and whole dog demon. Sesshomaru bent down and lifted her chin, staring into her face. She didn't make eye contact. She knew he was displeased with her, and being the elder, she had to respect that. He winked at her and patted her head. "Rin, keep everyone out of the house."

I followed him into the hut. Kiadea saw the sword and was on her way out before he could speak. "Good luck to ye." She patted my hand and left, sliding the door shut.

He didn't speak, just stared into her face. Her lifeless, pale white face. I had to turn away, I couldn't stand to see her this way. He closed his eyes and, with a quick swipe, cut the couriers of the underworld, or so I thought. I couldn't see them.

I waited, and she didn't rise. "Sesshomaru?"

X***X

I had cut them down, they were there, but the girl refused to wake. _'What is the meaning of this? The only explanation, is that her soul is not in the netherworld, but still among us. Her soul is still on earth, we just have to find it.'_

"Inuyasha. There is only one explanation. Her soul has never gone to the underworld."

X***X

I was confused. _'She isn't alive then? Is she in a deep slumber like I was? Could we still bring her back? Or is she gone?'_

"So, what does this mean?"

"It means that she still has a chance. How did she die Inuyasha? You have to tell me."

He turned and faced me head on. With elegant strides, he positioned himself in the corner, preparing for my tale. I guess I couldn't put this off forever. "Okay. I will... I will try to remember exactly. For Kagome. Let me get the others though. I don't want to tell it more than once."

After everyone was settled and Sashomea was curled up in my lap, I told them. I told them how we were in the meadow. How the sky filled with masses of ominous cloud, and the barrier prevented us from leaving. "I couldn't use my Tetsuiga. I'm not sure what was happening, but it wasn't transforming."

"No doubt the barrier prevented it from transforming. They wanted you to change Inuyasha. I suppose they hoped you would kill Kagome." Miroku interjected.

"Yeah, that's when… we fought, and they won. She won. I couldn't hurt her. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and… It's my fault she's gone! I had plenty of opportunities, but I just couldn't land the last damn blow!" I was yelling now. I could remember every detail from my labored unconscious dreams. She kissed me, but I wasn't going to say that. I hid my face behind my bangs. Staring into the floor, I thought about how I could have saved her.

Sesshomaru, who was silent throughout my whole story, finally spoke. "Inuyasha, spit it out, who was she. Confirm what we already know."

I flinched. "It… It was… She, she just shot her. She said, she vowed to kill her, and if she couldn't have me, then Kagome couldn't either." I turned my face to view everyone, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "How could Kikyo do that?"

Kiadea was not shocked. A single tear rolled down her cheek, "Ah Kikyo, have ye forsaken the path ye once chose to wander. Ye promised to keep ye heart out of such matters, ye promised to be different."

"So they shot their arrows at the same time Inuyasha? Kagome and Kikyo, but it was Kagome that suffered?" Miroku was still calm.

"Yeah, Kikyo's light was different though, it was darker, stronger. After the arrow hit Kagome, I was hit with an explosion of white light. It felt like it ripped right through me, then it was gone."

"Did Kikyo say anything else before she left?"

"Um, Yeah. She said that she promised to kill her, and that she was her incarnation, and therefore, is rightfully the property of Kikyo's soul."

"Inuyasha, you do realize, Kikyo killed Kagome for her soul. Where Kikyo only had half the soul, she relied on other souls to live. With Kagome's, she no longer needs her soul collectors. She is now fully sustained, and immortal. Kagome lives on inside of her."

Miroku looked both proud and beat down, but I was skeptical. "And that's a good thing? How do we free her? Can we even save her?"

That's when he got quiet. "Inuyasha, don't try to deny it. We all know you still have feelings for Kikyo. But, in order to save Kagome, we have to kill Kikyo."

Kiadea flinched, her sorrow overpowered by her sense of right. She sat taller; she knew what we had to do. She could accept it. Could I?

I was shocked. "Kagome saved Kikyo once, nearly dying because she thought it would make my happy to have her. I know what I must do."

' _I don't have feelings for Kikyo, do I? She killed Kagome after all, I should kill her. I know that. But will I truly be able to when the time comes? Or am I just being tough?'_


	4. Chapter 4

**The Pain of Letting Go**

 **Chapter 4**

X***X

I left, I needed to get away from the confusion and think things over. I sat in the tree overlooking the well. The very well that Kagome used to go home. It no longer was active. She had chosen to stay here when Naraku was defeated, and that meant she chose to stay with me.

"Inuyasha. Leaving isn't going to help us figure this out any faster."

Sesshomaru was the last person I thought would seek me out. "Sesshomaru, why do you care?"

His answer was unsatisfying, "I don't know. It seems I'm the only one who can keep his composure around here."

"You may be right," then I did something I never thought I would do, I asked him to help me. "Sesshomaru, do you really think Kagome could be brought back?"

I waited long for his answer, I almost thought he wasn't going to give one.

"Kikyo's body is merely soil and bones. It isn't strong enough to contain a soul that truly wants to escape. I believe we need to reawaken Kagome's soul, and it should return to her body."

I was shocked. Sesshomaru was being completely honest with me. For the first time in years, we were truly brothers. I'm not sure what happened to end our once peaceful relationship, I was a young pup when mother and father died. And I was still young when Sesshomaru left. It was more than 50 years before I saw anyone again, my half death sealing those years. But, when I came back, he was changed. The man who could smile, who could laugh, was gone, but no one knows what truly happened. No one knows what happened to his happiness. However, he is becoming himself again, ever so slowly.

"Thanks Sesshomaru."

X**X

He was already entering the trees as I turned to enter the hut. As quickly as he came, he was gone. But I knew he would be back. We had a long tough journey ahead of us.

X***X

I wasn't sure what to think. The Sesshomaru we grown to know was slowly changing. He no longer despised Inuyasha, even seemed to tolerate him. I doubt we will be welcomed on the journey, but what choice do we have, someone needs to be there to help Inuyasha. Sesshomaru may have changed, but I doubt his reaction to a sobbing Inuyasha will grant any favors.

"Sango, we need to talk to Inuyasha about the journey."

"I agree. It's only right we accompany him, but what about Sashomea?" Sango rocked the child in her arms.

"Hmm, I'm not too sure. It is possible that Rin will be left behind. She could watch all the children, with payment of course."

Inuyasha walked in, calm as ever, given the circumstances. We turned to face him straight on.

"Inuyasha, we are coming too. We can keep up just fine, and Rin will watch the children. It has been settled and there is no arguing the point so don't bother!"

Sango was forceful, her temper was softened by her tone, laced with sadness and kindness together.

"Sure."

X***X

I was surprised by Sango's outburst, taken back by the furry she pretended to wield. I answered her in a voice as monotone as I could muster, but I'm sure my voice cracked. I wouldn't let them know how relieved I was that they were coming, but I was genuinely happy to have them on the quest. It's been years since we traveled together, mostly together. It isn't going to be the same without Kagome, but I can't think about that now. "We leave at dawn. I'm taking Sashomea. I need to talk to her."

I picked her up in my arm like a bundle. I held her by the waist while her arms and legs dangled to the ground. I sat with her in the very tree Kagome and I first sat in. I let her climb the branches and settle in the crook of my arm. "I'm going away for a while," she just looked at me. "I'm going to bring back Kagome, you're mom. I need you to stay here with Rin, she will watch you until I get back. Don't grow up on me just yet little one."

I let her sleep there, huddled against me. I could sense the sun was about to rise, the sky was brightening, displaying colours of such beauty. I took her back to the hut and laid her beside a sleeping Rin. I then ran to find Miroku and Sango, and we set off on our journey.

Sesshomaru would find us soon enough, and I wanted a head start. We had to revisit the place Kagome died. I had to relive my nightmare for the hundredth time, only I got to see it in person this time.

As I thought, the trees were cracked and dying. Charred from the blast and still smoking, the explosion that killed Kagome lived on in the trees, refusing to let them pass on. I could spy the very spot her body fell when she was struck by the arrow. The ground was still green and flowers bloomed as though nothing ever happened. I then saw the place Kikyo stood, blacker than the burnt trees and reeking of death and decay. _'Hmph, Kikyo truly is death.'_

X***X

I had to say something. He just stood and stared into the ground, obviously thinking about the awful memories, and refusing to show just how much they pained him. _'I have to say something.'_

"Inuyasha? Are you alright?"

"Feh, Lets go, were wasting daylight."

I let him carry on, _'I know you're in pain.'_

X***X

I hated to throw Sango's concern into her face, but I'm not a pup that needs to be watched. I'm still the same guy, and I don't want that kind of attention.

X***X

As we slowly angled away from the village and the battle ground into the thick brush, Inuyasha became evermore agitated. His moods began to swing between his solemn state and his normal behavior. He was more anxious, and being unsure of what was causing this change, we were careful when speaking around him.

"Miroku? Do you think this could have something to do with the journey? Or leaving Sashomea behind?"

"Hmm, Either way. This is the first time we've been all together since our journey to kill Naraku, and he has been forced to take part without two people he cares deeply for. That must play a large part."

Sango twisted these thoughts around in her head. _'Miroku is right. Inuyasha is truly alone here.'_

 _X***X_

I felt the empty stares, I knew what they were thinking. It truly felt good, almost like old times to be out on the road together again. Only something… Someone was missing. I reached to my neck and grabbed the subjugation necklace, _'Kagome.'_

My annoyance grew as I listened to the whispers from behind me. I tried to walk as normal, but I knew what they were talking about. I dropped the necklace, letting it hit my chest softly, then turned and yelled. "Would you guys get off my back already? I said you could come, not talk about me behind my back!"

I turned back to the road and stalked forward, my anger already dulling. They stopped talking and followed in silence.

"You know Inuyasha, you didn't have to bite our heads off! We were only talking!" Shippo spoke up. We all stopped dead in our tracks as the little fox demon turned his back to me and crossed his arms.

I stood like a stone. I was unwilling to turn around, knowing that the little kitsune wasn't finished. I heard Sango and Miroku scuffling around, no doubt trying to silence the demon.

"Sango, Miroku, no, he needs to hear this." He was muffled, then let go. "Just because you feel lost right now doesn't mean you can treat us like this! We're going to bring Kagome back, and what is she going to think about your lack of manners? What is she going to say about how distant and… selfish you are acting!"

I stood perfectly still. _'How could he have the nerve, the audacity to say such things to me?'_ I was torn. I was torn between the urge to scream, yell and tear him apart, and keep walking. I turned around and looked at my friends. I had no emotion in my face, and I could see Shippo flinch and prepare to run. With lightning fast moves, I had him by the tail, and I stared into his eyes. The others just watched. They refused to get involved.

"Listen runt," my voice dripped with rage, "You crossed the line. This isn't the same. This isn't the same as all the times she went through the well. I can't just go get her! She is lost in spirit! And the sooner you realize how slim our chances of actually getting her back and having everything return to normal are, the easier this whole journey will be for you! For me! For everyone! Okay?"

I was yelling by the time I finished, Sango and Miroku just looked at the ground. Shippo was crying, his silent tears falling down his red cheeks. I knew I went too far, but couldn't take back the things I had said. _'Do I truly think those things? Do I really believe, Kagome is gone forever?'_

X***X

I passed Miroku my Hiraikotsu and grabbed Shippo from Inuyasha's grip, holding him tight to my chest.

 _'Inuyasha can't be blamed. He feels responsible for what happened. His outbursts are the result of his inability to deal with his internal emotional conflict. I must explain this to Shippo when I get the chance. I fear Inuyasha will lose himself, if we don't get Kagome back. She held him together, and without her, he is becoming unpredictable. He is going to hurt someone.'_

X***X

I sat in a tree overlooking the lake. The setting sun had cast a warm glow over everything, and the air was still warm. I took deep breaths. I had to control myself better. After I yelled at Shippo, I couldn't bear to walk with them. His face was so hopeful, he has so much faith in our ability to bring Kagome back, and I just destroyed that.

I closed my eyes, taking in my surroundings through my other senses. The others knew where we were meeting Sesshomaru, they would still come. _'Or would they? Sango and Miroku, they believed in what I said too didn't they? They knew how slim our chances were, so why did they fear what I said? No, not what I said, it must have been me. They feared me.'_

I continued to think. I continued to remember all the things Kagome said to me, what she taught me, and how she trusted me. I let go of my anger and negative thoughts. All I could feel now was hopelessness and despair. But we would continue on. I would continue on.

I could smell them long before I could hear them, and I could hear them long before I could see them. I stayed in my tree, I was sure they didn't want to see me.

Shippo walked to the water, and the others called me down. "Inuyasha! Come down here."

I did as they asked, hiding all the pain from earlier. "What?"

"Aren't you going to say anything about earlier? Don't pretend it didn't happen Inuyasha! Don't you believe we can bring her back?" Sango was angry, but her voice edged with pain.

"Feh, believe what you will, and I'll believe what I will."

She growled and spun in a slow circle, "Ugh! You are so difficult Inuyasha! Where is your faith! Where is the man that would do anything for Kagome, she needs you now more than ever, and you can't even manage to believe in the strength of her soul to fight for you?"

I blushed slightly and glanced at Miroku, he both nodded, and shook his head. "Of course I believe in her. But the sooner Shippo realizes how slim our chances really are, the easier our failure will be on him."

Sango began to tear into me one more time before Miroku stepped in. "Sango… He's right. The sooner we all realize that, at this moment in time, Kagome is dead, and that retrieving her soul will be difficult, the better it will be. We have a chance, a small chance, but this all comes down to Inuyasha." He turned to me. "You have the most difficult choice ahead of you. Will you be able to do, what needs to be done, when the time comes? Will you be able to kill Kikyo?"

I gawked at him and sputtered. "Of course I'll be able to kill that wench! She killed Kagome! She stole Sashomea's mother from her! I can, and will kill her!" I turned away, hurt that they even asked. _'I hope I can do it anyway.'_

Before they could ask me anymore questions, I silenced them. I sniffed the air as I stalked around the small camp they set up, trying to find the source of this familiar scent.

"Inuyasha, for the last time, what is it?"

I turned and before I could reply, things went black.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Pain of Letting Go**

 **Chapter 5**

X***X

I woke up on the ground. Someone was talking, I think they were saying my name, but I couldn't focus. Pain shot through my leg and up into my back, and something pinned me to the ground. I forced my eyes open and ignored the pain to find that Sango lay beneath me. She wasn't hurt, only covered in dirt and cuts. "Inuyasha, get up."

I tried to rise, but her Hiraikotsu was weighing me down heavily. I reached to push it off, only to be assaulted by another wave of body wracking pain. Working through it, I pushed the heavy bone boomerang off, and gently tapped her cheek.

I stood, trying to ignore the objecting pains in my body. Many trees were charred, and the leaves were disintegrated. The earth was black, as though a fire erupted and destroyed the very ground we stood on. The explosion that took place was powerful, wiping out much of the thick forest that had surrounded us.

I wiped my hand across my face, wiping fresh blood from my mouth. I struggled to remember what happened. I only knew that Sesshomaru stood between me and our assailant.

"Pay attention Inuyasha. This time, do as I say!" Sesshomaru was frustrated, obviously trying to protect us from the attacker. _'Why didn't he just kill them?'_

Then I realized. Kikyo stood at the center of the charred mass of earth. Her clothes were still clean, suggesting that the explosion, or whatever happened to destroy the forest, originated from her very body. I wondered why Sesshomaru had not yet killed her. Perhaps he was waiting for me to awaken. Then again, maybe there is a whole different reason.

"What's the matter Inuyasha? You look confused." She laughed. Sinister with a mocking tone.

I didn't know what to say. My whole journey, my whole destiny, has been planned until this point. Find Kikyo, kill her, and get Kagome back. But now, I stared her in the face, and was powerless to mark my own way.

She giggled, a sound so unnatural, so foreign having come from her. "Inuyasha really, I've been watching you. What happened to killing me? You sounded so determined, and here I am, waiting for you to take your chance."

I snarled, "Shut up! Just give me back Kagome!" I managed to throw that out, but was glad the others weren't around to hear it. They would never have forgiven my attempt at compromising over Kagome's life.

"Ha-ha, you really think it's that simple? I have her life force in my body. I am now immortal. You really think I would give up such freedom? No, she has no chance. I'm going to break her, before I absorb her soul as a complete part of mine."

I grinned, a cocky smile, "meaning, she is stronger willed than you first thought, and you can't absorb her."

Annoyance flashed across her face. "Listen hanyou, I will destroy her. I will destroy you, and I will be ever so fortunate as to destroy the love child that should never have been."

With that, I erupted off the ground and took a stance. "No one will touch Sashomea!" I whipped out my Tetsuiga and, with a mighty swing, smashed the now 5 foot blade onto the ground and sent four energy blasts straight at our attacker. She smiled sweetly, lifted her hand to her face, and closing her eyes. The blast hit a barrier, and was deflected straight back at us. Sesshomaru jumped lazily, and I grabbed Sango, moving just in time to avoid the attack.

The deflected attack tore across the chard ground where we stood and sent sprays of soil in all directions. The deep grooves left an all too familiar pattern etched into the earth, a pattern I don't want to be on the receiving end of again.

"Damn." I muttered as I laid Sango down. I frowned and glanced at Kikyo. Her bow was slung casually across her back, and arrows sat in the quiver, ready for use. She smiled again. She was toying with me, she knew I had a lot of conflicting thoughts when it came to her. She knew I had trouble with the idea of killing her.

I held my Tetsuiga up in defense. If I couldn't attack, I would have to wait for a chance. Sesshomaru stood silently by Sango, protecting her. I glanced at him and he flicked his eyes at me. In that split second, she was on me, attacking with very little of her vast power.

I ran at her one more time, firing shards of diamond from my adamant barrage. She raised both hands, grasped her bow and closed her black eyes. The shards stopped dead in front of her, and as quickly as they stopped, were fired right back at me. She snapped her eyes open and gave a savage cry, forcing the hair on my arms and neck to stand on end. The shards were unavoidable. With tired movements, I tried to block the majority with my Tetsuiga, but was too slow. My chest was struck the worst, while there were smaller shards lodged in my legs and arms. I felt the shards lodge deep in my flesh and some tear out of my back. I landed heavily but forced myself to get up. One moment on the ground, and she would finish me. She had no mercy at this point. With one final attack, I ran directly at her, sword raised and ready to swing, ready to cleave her in two.

My body was already dripping with blood. I was bleeding at a greater rate due to my over exertion. I ran with a insignificant limp, hindering my movement slightly. I gasped and cried out as I prepared to swing. As I looked into the eyes of the woman I planned on killing, I thought of Kagome.

She was standing still, seeming to wait for my attack. With reflexes beyond even her powers, she spun in a circle, reaching into her robes. Hidden within the folds of her clothes was that sword. Her small yet strong sword, she whipped it out, throwing the sheath a long distance. With a graceful yet seemingly choreographed movement, she danced her way around my own sword, and thrust her blade deep within my chest and out my back.

My sword hit the ground, sinking deep into the mangled dirt. My cry was caught in my throat, and I coughed, spitting up blood. I fell to my knees immediately, cursing aloud, "You bastard."

She crouched right beside me, the sword still piercing my body, and gave a twist as she whispered into my ear. "See Inuyasha, you were always meant to die by my hand. I just couldn't see it then. I just couldn't let you go then." Her voice was like a poison, reaching its way down into my delicate ears and lodging in my brain. "Prepare to die Inuyasha."

She twisted the blade violently and pulled it out. I groaned painfully and focused on the black earth stained red from my blood. The diamonds were still lodged deep within my body, and the sword left a jagged and awkward hole in my gut. She pushed me down, ready to stab me right in the heart.

Sesshomaru, I noticed, was beginning to walk this way, picking up speed quickly. Before he could reach us, however, she doubled over, screaming with pain and rage. She fell on her knees right in a puddle of blood, my blood. She cried out in agony and surprise. Clutching her heart, she fell to the ground, further soaking in my blood. She looked at me from her position in the dirt, grasping the collar of my shirt as she did.

Sesshomaru stopped and watched with confusion and curiosity. I simply laid there, trying to gain some strength back before she rose and attempted to kill me again, but felt weaker and weaker. Kikyo continued to look at me, her eyes flashing brown. I recognized those eyes. I reached to her, cupping her face so as to see her eyes more clearly. Her mouth flapped, but no sound came out. With a quick pained look, her eyes flashed back to the soft brown. Her face took on a loving emotion, and she grasped my hand.

"Inuyasha! Fight! Fight for me! Don't let her win. I… Love… You!"

My eyes watered, _'Kagome._ ' "Kagome!"

With that, her eyes flashed once more, and faded back to black. She was still fighting! Fighting to get free! With intense waves of pain and resistance from my body, I stood up. I grasped the hilt of the Tetsuiga, leaning on it for support. It instantly transformed when I grabbed it, and I used it to rest, trying to focus my eyes on the girl in the blood before me. _'Did I kill her? No, that's my blood.'_

I was lost. I had trouble breathing and standing, but she continued to fight. She stood in front of me, knowing I could no longer fight, and tried to finish me off. Before she could stab me again, I fell to the ground. She was grabbed by Sesshomaru, who held her up by the neck. She panicked, and with a blast of energy, clapped her hands above her head and disappeared into a cloud of smoke. Sesshomaru was sent flying from the shock, landing not far from where I laid. Gracefully, he landed on his feet, but the murderous glint in his eye was all too noticeable. Her last words echoed out,

"There is more than one way to destroy you Inuyasha. You can't be there all the time."

Knowing I was now safe… safer, I closed my eyes. _'Kagome. You still live.'_


	6. Chapter 6

**The Pain of Letting Go**

 **Chapter 6**

X***X

I fell violently out of my dream, thoughts of destruction and anger clouding everything I ever knew. I felt my body pulsing, my spine tingling, and my brain chemistry changing. The pain in my body was now nothing more than a throbbing irritation, and I had an intense desire to kill. I opened my eyes, staring into the faces of four people that backed away from me. At one point, I knew what they were here for, but the memory started to fade. They spoke to me, they pleaded to me. But it was just the one that took action towards me.

"Inuyasha?" a voice called unsteadily. "Inuyasha, it's your friends, we are only trying to help you."

I struggled to fight back the demon inside. I struggled to remember why I need to remain in control of my senses. I struggled to remember Kagome.

A harsh voice, ice cold to the touch, spoke up, breaking down the very fabric of the demon inside. "Inuyasha."

All he had spoken was my name, but the demon inside seemed to cower before the voice, backing away from my consciousness and returning to its dormancy inside my blood. I could feel the change immediately. My mind became clearer, but the pain came back. I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain to subside, but it didn't. My stomach heaved, and I forced myself to roll to the side. I coughed, spitting out foul tasting blood, and wretched. Nothing came out, a testimony to how little I truly have eaten since Kagome was taken. I finished, and continued to lay on my side, my throat burning as I grew angry. _'Damn, why does it still hurt so much?'_

 _X***X_

I watched him roll to his side. I watched as he struggled on the ground, anger clouding his face. His eyes were open, but looked into nothing. I tried to imagine how he felt. The pain, the anger and confusion at having a woman he once cared for nearly kill him again. I tried to imagine myself in his place. I tried to imagine Sango trying to kill me. It wasn't the same circumstance, but was the best I could imagine, and the thought was excruciating. Another realization over took me. _'That's right. Inuyasha nearly died. That explains the sudden takeover of his demon self just now. He nearly died, and we forced him right back into the pain. He turned to escape the agony and fight for his life, and we brought him right back to it.'_

X***X

I was sore, but that was an improvement over how I had felt. Fears were put to rest as my wounds closed and my attitude came back. The near death experience was nearly overlooked as things returned to normal, but it wasn't forgotten. We now knew that Kikyo was prepared to kill us, and wasn't remorseful.

I watched them. My strength came back, and the cuts and punctures I received were no more than innocently coloured scars beneath my robes. They were oddly quiet.

"Well go ahead! Say it! Don't pretend you haven't noticed, but I am fully healed now! Why aren't we going after her? Is it because she nearly killed me?" I was getting more flushed as I spoke, so I just stopped, and waited for a response.

"Inuyasha, it's not like that!"

"Yeah Inuyasha, we all know you're strong, but she was stronger."

"Feh," I was sulking. I know I was being childish and unfair. I nearly died, and almost turned demon, putting them all at risk. On top of that, they were forced to remove the shards from my torn body, taking several grueling hours.

"Look Inuyasha. If we were to find her right now, this very second for example, what would we do?" Miroku set down his cup, signaling the question was rhetorical and he was going to answer it. "We would most likely suffer the same fate. She knows she can beat us, she knows she can win. But she isn't going to let it go to her head. She is a priestess, and even with her gloating and showboating last time, she nearly succeeded."

I chewed on the thought for a minute then settled down. "So what can we do?"

No one answered. Sango continued to hold Kirara, rubbing her back as she slept. Shippo chewed on a blade of grass and Miroku closed his eyes, grabbed his cup, and took a sip of tea. Sesshomaru was nowhere to be seen.

We all continued to sit in silence, eating away at the question that plagued us, _'What could we do?'_

 _'Well we already know my attacks are useless. She just sent them flying back at me! And brute strength didn't work. Her movements were too refined, too quick. Miroku can't use his wind tunnel without destroying Kagome's soul. And Sesshomaru? Would his attacks hurt a soul? I don't think so. Would he kill her for me? Would he end Kikyo's life?'_

"No."

I blinked my eyes, becoming fully aware that I stared at Sesshomaru as he walked majestically into the camp. He was looking right back at me. He must have figured out my thought by the look of desperation in my eyes.

"No what?"

"No, I will not kill her." He sat down, leaning against a tree as he did. "You need to do this on your own. You will find a way. You never needed my help before, and I will not give it to you now. I am simply here to recover a soul I tried, but could not save. That is my only purpose. I will save her soul, but only you will have the chance to kill Kikyo. No one will interfere with that." He looked at my friends, and they agreed silently.

"Right. So, how do we get Kagome's soul out of a body it naturally feels it belongs in?"

I looked at Miroku.

He nodded, realizing his mistake. "Let me explain. When Kagome's soul was torn from her body and split between her and Kikyo, it is drawn to both bodies. However, the soul naturally has a desire to be whole. Since it has been pulled into and has begun to re-bond in Kikyo's clay body, we need to re-split the soul, careful not to damage it and hurt the being that is Kagome. We need to sever the bond between Kikyo and Kagome, without destroying Kagome, and then are free to deal with Kikyo as we please. The question is how?"

We thought for a while longer, but slowly, one by one, drifted off. Sesshomaru closed his eyes, but I knew he wouldn't sleep. I did the same, and slowly drifted off.

I woke up with a start. My breathing was rapid and my mind was racing. Her words echoed in my mind again. _'More than one way to destroy you. Can't be there all the time.'_ I blinked, my initial fear replaced by anger, _'can't be where? What was she talking about?'_

I laid back down, my back slick with sweat. Unable to bear it anymore, I walked to the river and removed my robe. I smirked and looked at the red fabric in my hands. _'Made from hair of the fire rat. It sure has come in handy. It regenerates almost as fast as I do._ ' I poked at the fabric, inspecting the flawless material. Not a rip or tear. Considering it was in tatters after our fight, this was impressive.

I splashed myself with the cool water and headed back to camp. Sitting at the dying fire, I glanced around. Miroku and Sango were huddled together and Shippo laid on Kirara. The demon cat purred softly.

By my guess, it was some time after midnight, and I needed to sleep. Our journey was far from over, and she could be anywhere in this vast country. I settled down against the tree I had awoken from, and drifted off into another uneasy slumber.

The sun prodded the horizon and I woke again, this time, I shouted out Sashomea's name. I was reaching out ready to grasp something. I was confused in a way. This dream was so real, yet so fake. My travel companions stared at me with great interest, and waited patiently for me to explain. When I never did, they started prodding. "Inuyasha? What is it?"

"I… She, she was right there. I could have reached out and grabbed her." I spoke, though not to anyone in particular.

"Who? What are you talking about?"

"Feh, never mind." I threw the dream aside and, ignoring the muttering coming from my friends, started to leave.

We walked no more than ten minutes before I froze. My heart started beating faster and I thought for a moment. My dream has been replaying itself ever since I woke up, but it was just now that those words echoed across my conscious mind _. 'You will die Inuyasha. Kagome will die. All your friends will die. Everyone you care for will die. Everyone! You can't be everywhere, and you can't protect them forever.'_

The threat hung low over my head. _'It was just a dream, yet it felt so real. I don't know if I can just ignore this premonition. We have to go back!'_

I spun around and started to run, leaving my friends confused and struggling to catch up.

"Inuyasha! Inuyasha wait! Where are you going?"

"I'm going back, I'll explain later!" I called back, but never slowed down. Instead, I sped up and started jumping, covering great distances. I would be home by night fall.

X***X


	7. Chapter 7

**The Pain of Letting Go**

 **Chapter 7**

X***X

He was gone. One moment, we were walking, the next he was running like a maniac. ' _Where was he going?'_

"Sango, we should follow him."

"Right, Kirara!"

The cat burst into flames. Her tiny growl grew into a deep roar as her body grew in size. She was now a large, fanged cat. The three jumped on her back, and she took off, leaving a slight trail of flames to disperse into the sky as she ran across the tree tops.

"Why does Inuyasha do that? He is so unpredictable!"

"Yes, he has gotten worse since Kagome's passing. I can't explain his erratic behavior." Miroku held his staff, which he wrapped around Sango's waist. He held it loosely, but still tight enough that he would not fall should Kirara make a sudden movement.

"I guess, all we can do is trust him. But what about Sesshomaru?"

"I don't know where he wanders off to, but he will catch up. His senses are incredible. Far more developed that Inuyasha's."

Once again, no sooner had they said his name, he appeared beside them. His robes flapped viciously in the wind and his tail trailed behind. He still looked so noble. His hair flowing behind him as his face held its emotionless expression. He said nothing, only glanced at them and gave a slight nod of his head, signaling them to speed it up. Sango nodded her head, she understood. "Kirara!"

The demon cat screamed, its voice lost in the wind as it ran a few more steps, propelling itself higher, and there for faster. Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen, and Sesshomaru chose to stay with the others.

X***X

The wind whipped my face as I flew over the trees. I thought of all the reasons I was compelled to go back, and none seemed reasonable _. 'It sounds crazy. A dream compelled me to go back. I put our whole journey on standstill just because a little dream got me all paranoid. But still, it would be a great comfort to see her again. And I won't leave her behind, I just couldn't relax if I did.'_

The sun was just dipping below the horizon, and I landed loudly by the tree line. I looked down on the village, it seemed peaceful. I took off again, I had to know. I landed outside Kiadea's hut. The warm glow of the fire was visible through the curtain. Shadows danced under the curtain as I stared intently at the hut. _'Still awake are they?'_ I burst into the hut, surprising everyone inside. Everyone but one old woman.

She sat across the room holding a sleeping Sashomea. "Shh, quiet Inuyasha, the baby's sleeping."

"Kiadea! It's good to see you old woman."

"Aye, I knew ye would be coming back, and I tried to get Sashomea to sleep before ye did. This was the only way she would rest."

I walked over and took her in my arms. I stared down into her face as I sat cross legged by the fire. "Sashomea," I whispered, "You're okay."

"Aye child, it's sure been quiet since you left. Now tell me, why is it ye have returned so early?"

I took a deep breath, relieved, "Well, I had a feeling that Sashomea needed me. So, here I am."

She looked at me, as though she was unconvinced of my little story. "Tell me. Why is that?"

I huffed, "What do you want from me? I'm back for my daughter!"

She narrowed her eyes, "Inuyasha. Ye best tell me."

I sighed. There was no way to dodge her questions. "I had a dream. Kikyo was coming for Sashomea."

"Aahh, a premonition of sorts yes? Well Inuyasha, I fear that dream is much more of a reality than ye would like to think." She glanced to the back of the hut, her eyes showing signs of desperation.

I took the bait, slowly making my way across the worn floor. I sniffed, but the air was clear. Unnaturally clear. I stiffened. _'Why haven't I noticed it before? I smell nothing, not even Kiadea or Sashomea. They are not alone here.'_

I grasped the hilt of my Tetsuiga, the blade humming with power. I growled, "Show yourself! I know you're here Kikyo!"

Her laugh was light and airy, her voice just a whisper in my sensitive ears. I was frightened beyond belief. "Inuyasha. I'm surprised you took the meaning out of your dreams. You don't usually catch on so fast."

"Shut up! What do you want Kikyo?"

Her face fell, her eyes darkening. "Your death by my hand. When you're finally gone, my revengeful soul will be stated, and my immortal body will be free to do as I please."

I growled again, drawing my blade. It took all my power to keep it from transforming. She laughed. "Touch a nerve did we? Well then, let's go play outside. Dogs don't belong in the house!" Her hand swiped up sending me flying with a small blast of her vile energy. I landed hard on my back in the dirt, the lack of air leaving my lungs burning. "Sashomea, Kiadea, hang on."

X***X

"Kirara hurry! Inuyasha may not have much time!" Sango urged her demon cat forward.

Miroku held tightly, his eyes closed as they flew through the trees. "Were getting closer. Look, there's the Village!"

Shippo yelled out in is high pitched voice, "and there's Kiadea's hut! Awe, Sango! It's Inuyasha!"

He pointed to the hut where Inuyasha flew from. They were close enough to hear Kikyo's voice.

"Inuyasha," they all screamed in union.

Kikyo looked up at them as Shippo cowered.

Kirara screamed, her voice not in rage or intimidation, but in pain. She faltered in the sky, dropping her load as she did. The ground was far off, but not so far as to kill them. Sesshomaru lunged forward, catching the little kitsune and demon cat. He was unable to reach the others. He hit the wall and was sent flying back by an invisible barrier. He grunted in surprise as he landed on the ground, wiping his lip on the back of his hand. He stood by, watching through the wavering wall, unable to help in any way.

Sango and Miroku hit the ground, one after the other. They lay in pain, but not for long. Sango cried out in agony as she sat up, her traditional war garb tore along the leg. "Sango, where does it hurt?"

X***X

Miroku sat up slowly, feeling his limbs for any skin of injury. _'None._ ' He glanced at Sango as she cried out, her pants torn. He crawled over, "Sango, where does it hurt?"

She gripped her leg just below the knee, _'good, it's not a joint,'_ Miroku was relieved. He reached into his robes for some healing cream, spreading it generously on my leg. The pain was blinding, and I passed out as he called my name.

X***X

I sat up, my insides burning as I gasped to bring air into my body. I looked up at her, Kikyo. She leaned in the doorway, her hands crossed over her chest. I looked to my side, sidetracked as I watched my friends hit her barrier. They fell hard and fast, hitting the ground with clear thuds. Sango cried out in pain as she landed funny while Sesshomaru stood still, fuming with Shippo and Kirara in hand. I growled, a pitiful sound coming from my aching lungs.

"Inuyasha, you ought to pay more attention to the fight." She stepped out of the doorway, her robes flapping viciously in the calm air. _'What is this?'_

Her arms rose, the air crackling under the pressure of her power. I stood, my sword transformed and ready _. 'If I attack in my usual way, she will just dodge and hit me. But if I blast her with my adamant barrage, she will send it back. And I can't use Medo Zan Getzuha; that would destroy Kagome's soul. There is only one option. I'm going to have to break the barrier and let Sesshomaru in.'_

My sword glowed red, blood red. She seemed to understand what I was about to do. She screamed. "Inuyasha, you will not call for help like a wounded puppy!"

She shot me. Bursts of blue lightning coursed through my body at high speed. I flew back, dropping my sword. I howled in pain, my robes smoking and singeing. My body was covered in burns from where the lightning entered and escaped. It was a bearable pain, but my will was not as strong as it used to be. I struggled to stand, but forced my body up. I eyed the Tetsuiga, halfway between us. She was smirking, but was replaced with a frown. "Inuyasha, why do you not fight? Have you finally realized that Kagome belongs to me? And now for my promise."

My legs went weak. "Kikyo no! Your fight is with me! Don't touch her!" I ran at her. Grabbing my sword, I raised it above my head. "Adamant Barrage!" I fired at her, but she used the same technique. She stopped them dead and sent them flying back. They pierced my skin, sending me flying back. I hit a wall, and slumped down. I could not move.

She walked to me, "Inuyasha. Why must you make things so difficult? Can you not accept this? Your friends will die. Your child will die. Kagome will die! And you are going to watch, and then you will die."

She sashayed away, heading straight towards Kiadea's hut. She reached inside, pulling Sashomea out by the collar. "No! Sashomea! Don't you touch her Kikyo! You're not like this! What happened to the Kikyo I knew?"

"Inuyasha. She died a long time ago when you did. Since my reincarnation, I've learned things. I was never really yours. You were never really mine. We were never meant to be. And if I can't have you, no one can!"

With that, she whipped her petite sword from her robes, positioning it just right. Sashomea cried, her body not yet strong enough to fight. I just screamed.


	8. Chapter 8

**The Pain of Letting Go**

 **Chapter 8**

X***X

The sound of Kikyo's voice startled me out of my trance. She was screaming at Inuyasha, but I didn't hear her words. Looking up, I saw Inuyasha go flying, his red sword falling to the ground. _'He was going to break the barrier.'_

I shook Sango, her limp body moving under my touch. "Sango, please wake up. Inuyasha is fighting Kikyo."

"Hmm, what?" She woke up her eyes glazed over. "Miroku? What happened?"

"We hit a barrier and you passed out. It seems Sesshomaru hit the barrier too. This was meant for only Inuyasha. All we can do is watch."

And we did. Sesshomaru stood over us holding Shippo and Kirara. Neither had woken up yet. "Sesshomaru. What happened?"

He glanced down, taking his time to answer. "He was going to break the barrier, but Kikyo doesn't want that."

We watched the rest of the fight. Inuyasha sat on the ground smoking, his robes singed and burnt. They spoke, arguing back and forth. When he attacked, we knew what was going to happen. I'm guessing so did he, but his temper got the better of him.

"Inuyasha!" Sango screamed as his attack was shot back at him. The shards lodged deep, cutting his still injured flesh. He landed propped up against a wall, and we knew the fight was coming to a close.

When she grabbed Sashomea, we couldn't speak. Not even Sesshomaru could keep his calm composure. He growled, a threatening and dangerous sound. All we could do, was listen in horror at Inuyahsa's pained scream.

X***X

She raised her arm, ready to do the deed. "Kikyo no!"

I begged her. She laughed at my pain. Sashomea cried, her sobs echoing through my mind as I struggled to rise, to save her. She looked at me pleading, then almost disappointed when I didn't move. It broke my heart. "Sashomea! I'm so sorry!" I screamed as I fell forward, my arms crumpling under the weight of my own body. I glanced over at my friends, Sango and Miroku giving horrified looks as Sesshomaru growled. I could tell from the way his face showed that slight bit of emotion. He was angry.

"Inuyasha. Don't you want to watch your darling baby girl? Don't you want to tell her everything will be alright like you did Kagome? That you will be right behind her?" She laughed menacingly.

"Kikyo, why are ye doing this?" Kiadea called from the doorway of the hut. She laid on the ground bleeding and holding her arm. "Why must ye destroy this family?"

Kikyo scoffed. "This is not a family. You don't know the meaning of the word family. You never had a family neither did I!"

She rose her arm high, bringing down the sword with all her might. I screamed. Sashomea screamed. Kiadea screamed. And then, Kikyo screamed.

She dropped to the ground, her sword bouncing harmlessly off the dirt next to Sashomea. She ran to me, her face soaked in tears. I watched Kikyo, confused. She continued to scream, grabbing at her hair and her sides. She was in a battle only she was aware of. _'Kikyo?'_

"NO! I WILL NOT LET YOU WIN YOU BITCH! AAARRRRAAAAAAA!"

There was no end to her pained screams. She finally sat on her haunches, her hands glued to her temples as she started to glow. A bright light erupted from her as a darker light grabbed and clawed at it. We watched fascinated and horrified as the two lights fought. Finally, the white light broke free. Kikyo shouted and raged. The white light stopped just before us as it took shape. "Kagome!"

 _'Kagome! Is this your soul?'_

The Kagome shape manifested a bow out of light and aimed it as Kikyo stood tall. With a quick smile, she shot her light arrow. "Kagome. You shot her with your soul."

It pierced Kikyo's flesh, turning her skin back to bones and soil and setting her tormented soul free. Kikyo's soul floated towards the sky, purifying as it floated higher.

I watched the Kagome soul turn around, smiling at us. She began to fade back into a white ball of light when I cried out to her. "Kagome! Please don't leave me again."

It didn't respond, just faded away.

I held Sashomea tight as the soul faded and the barrier dispersed. Miroku and Sango came to me as Sesshomaru walked to Kiadea, no doubt worried about Rin. I said nothing, just left Sashomea with them.

I ran to the hut, Kagome's corpse still on the mat. She still smells like she did the day she died. Yet her face was greying. I sat next to her, my heart no longer able to hold back the tears. "Kagome. Kagome why did this have to happen? You came into my life for a reason. You can't leave like this."

I rested my head on her stomach as I let the tears flow. Saying my final good bye.

I laid there for a while, and was almost asleep when my ear twitched. I continued to twitch it, trying to get whoever was touching it to go away. With a grunt of frustration I sat up, "can't you leave me alone?" I turned to look, no one.

"Feh."

"Inuyasha… Why are you yelling?"

My eyes widened. I looked at Kagome. Her eyes trained on me. Just as perfect as the day she died. "Kagome, Kagome are you really alive?"

"Yes? Should I not be?"

"Kagome, do you know anything that happened."

"Not really. I see snippets of things, but I don't know if it's true or just a dream."

I hugged her midsentence, my heart filled with relief. Sashomea ran into the hut, obviously aware of the resurrection of Kagome. She leapt onto the bed, her face wide with a smile. "Kagome, this is Sashomea, our daughter."

DONE!


End file.
